We’ve stayed indoors recently because it’s been too cold to go outside. Beyonce’s been chewing my ear off about all sorts of stuff, she just won’t shut up. I’ve not really been listening to her, just gobbling in agreement, whilst my mind wonders off to matters bigger than if her bum looks big with those tail feathers. Luckily Daisy (the dog) popped in to the barn earlier for a chat. She’s been looking up some turkey facts on the internet and was asking me if they were true. Which got me thinking… We’re a lot more than a tasty Christmas lunch you know. Here are some Turkey facts that you can impress your friends with on Christmas day.

1.  Turkeys can drown if they look up when it’s raining – this is true it happened to someone I knew. We were outside larking about in the rain then we heard the thunderous rumble of planes. He got all excited, “it’s the Red Arrows Braddy Boy, I love those guys”, he looked up, mouth wide open in amazement, coped a mouthful of rain, and that was that

2. Adult turkeys are called Toms, but I’m called Brad, I don’t get that one

3. Turkey contains an amino acid called “Tryptophan” this is a reasonably effective sleep aid, which probably explains why everyone passes out after Christmas Dinner. Beyonce contains a great deal of tryptophan, which explains a lot

4. Turkeys love following people (this goes way back to when they used to follow large beasts that kicked up the earth uncovering lovely tasty treats as they went) – I’ll follow you, so why not follow me on twitter @brad_turkey – nice!

I’ve sent Daisy off to find out what’s on TV tonight.